Case in point: Thursday afternoon, a handful of kids from my 6th grade class knock on the door. I open the door and see them sitting outside on the ground and they are silent and looking awkward.
6th: Hey….do you have…one of those things?
6th: You know, one of those things that a person needs.
K: [Confused look on face]
6th: The thing that you use…
K (thinking): Is this happening? Am I listening correctly?
6th: We heard…(laughing)
K: What do you guys need?
Brayan: (pulling out wallet) This! This is what we need (opens up wallet and shows me an unused condom).
K (thought process/freak out in head): Dude, you are 12 years old. You don’t have a girlfriend. Are you just carrying that around as some sort of status symbol? Still, you’re freaking me out. How am I ever going to be able to give you sex ed charlas without feeling like a parent? Or worse, a whore because I ‘have the information’? And why are you coming to me asking for condoms? Do I have some sort of rep as the condom girl? Or maybe it’s a good thing that you’re coming to me, because you feel as though you are comfortable enough with me to ask questions. I should be helping you, right? Dang Brayan, you are 12!
Brayan: We need one of these.
K: For what? No way!
The aforementioned statement in Spanish is ‘Por? No, papa!’…but I said it in a way that sounded more like ‘porno papa’ (porn potato) and the kids called me on it. They started asking, “What’s porn?”
That’s when I told them that if they want some condoms, they could go to the health center and get them because they are cheap and available. I have to get cracking on those sex ed charlas soon. As for the explanation of porn, I didn’t even get to that. They booked as soon as I told them that the health center had condoms.
So there you go Tony Akins, again with the potatoes.