no espeak espanish my love

This dancing queen went to a San Ramon party on Saturday. I was thinking about not going because of how crazy New Year's was but my sister, Rosa, invited me and I really couldn't say no.

We arrived "late" (8 pm) to the party, which was held at my future neighbor's house (assuming the health center ever moves out of my house!), and it was packed. There were a ton of guys waiting outside of the house for more girls to come so that they would have someone to dance with (great) and the majority of those guys were really drunk. We waited outside for awhile and then guess who comes up to me? Ever! "Let's dance." "No." "Why not?" This time I just walked away from him. Hooray! Problem solved! He didn't bother me the rest of the night although I did hear him tell a friend, "No, that bitch doesn't like to dance." (No I just don't want to dance with you lush.)

We were still outside and another guy (a Juanes look-a-like wannabe), Jimmy, comes up to me and asks me to dance. My brother Luis says, "She doesn't speak Spanish". (Earlier in the day Luis and I were playing cards and he was saying something to me and I just told him I didn't speak Spanish as a joke and it has become a running joke between us ever since.)

Jimmy says, "Are you sure you don't speak Spanish? Do you understand anything I'm saying to you right now?" And even though I understood, I just looked at him confused and shrugged my shoulders. It was a fun game for awhile but it blew up in my face when a mess of people got involved later when we eventually entered the party. This one older guy would not leave me alone. He kept repeating the same things over and over again and spoke to me really slowly. It was pretty annoying because I understood everything even though he thought that I didn't. I guess that's what I deserve. It was really strange though acting like someone who didn't understand the language and even stranger to see how other acted around me. They kept talking about me in front of me but thinking that I didn't understand, never censored themselves. It made me think, would I behave the same way in a similar situation?
Anyway, due to the language "barrier", I got to turn down his invitation to dance and that was good. Eventually, Luis found me a non-drunk to dance with who was really nice and didn't bother me about not having a boyfriend.

Highlights/Shockers of the night?
-Rosa coming up to me and saying, "The drunks are gone now. We can dance in peace."
-A 6 year old drunk from guaro (given to him by his father) and everyone thought it was the cutest thing. It just made me sad.
-A girl slapping Ever in the face on the dance floor (justice is served jerkface!)
-the party breaking up at 11 pm because some idiot shot his gun into the ceiling and a bunch of tiles fell onto the floor (which turned out to be a bigger deal to the town than the gun??)
-leaving the party, we saw a passed out drunk on the ground with people surrounding him shining a flashlight in his face, not to try to help him, but to find out who he was so he could be the subject of gossip the next morning (true to San Ramon form, he passed out with bottle in hand)

How fun it is to be a stranger in a strange land.