"ever"-lasting love?

New Year's could have been so much better. I could have:
-Gone to La Ceiba and celebrated with other PCVs on the beach
-Gone to Santa Lucia and celebrated with my original host family
-Gone to Siguatepeque and celebrated with my host family there

But I decided to stay in San Ramon and try to get to know more people. What ended up happening was more problems for me. It started out well with several people from the 24th stopping by earlier in the day asking me if I was going to be at the party and that I had to dance. It was nice to be remembered.

When the party started however, they only played a few merengue songs and then came the slow stuff, which in Honduras means press your body and close as you can to the girl you're dancing with. No thank you. I went in the kitchen and sat there for awhile until the merengue came back on. When it did, I went back out to dance and then Ever, from the 24th, grabs my hand and pulls me to the floor. Fine, fine, I'm not going to make a scene. We dance to two songs and then I start to head towards the kitchen but he won't let go of my hand. I tell him that I'm thirsty and I don't want to dance right now, thanks anyway. He won't let go. I have to pull out of his grasp and I go into the kitchen already upset.

A few minutes pass and then he comes into the kitchen too (he is drunk DRUNK). He pulls up a chair next to me and doesn't shut up.
In drunken Spanish he says, "I know you from somewhere, right?" (Yeah jerkface, we met on the 24th when you wouldn't leave me alone.)
And then, "Let's dance."
"No thanks. I'm tired."
"You're not tired. How could you be tired?"
"I was here before you got here."
"So?" "So I don't want to dance right now."
"Why not?" (Ugh. My short temper was showing right at this point.)
"I just don't want to dance."
"That's not a reason."
"I said no and that's my reason."
"I want to get to know you better. Do you want to know me better?"
"I am tired right now sorry."
"That's not a reason. Let's dance."

Are you annoyed yet? I'm irritated just typing this and having to relive it. This cycle contiunes once more until he gets up, tries to pull me to the dance floor, I say no, and my little brother sits in his seats and saves the day. Ever can't really stand on his own so he just leaves. I go into my room to hide because I don't want to talk to him anymore.

But at 1145, I want to celebrate the New Year with everyone. Slow music is playing again. Lucky for me, Ever is gone. I get asked to dance by someone that lives in the house where I'm at, though I'm not sure of his exact relation to the family. I say yes because I don't want to appear rude and he's nice. He has talked to me a couple times at dinner. When we dance to the first song, everything is fine. The second song though, he begins to ask me why I won't look at him while we're dancing (um, because it's physically impossible with you wrapped around me like a bear hug). Then he says that I'm really pretty. He asks if I have a boyfriend, I say no. He asks me out. I tell him that's sweet but I can't have a boyfriend right now. The circle of questions begins and ends with, "So, do you accept? Will you go out with me?" He puts his head on my shoulder as we dance, because I am taller (and feel like such a guy at that moment).

Hello? NO! I'm not going to date anyone in San Ramon because everyone will know about it. Plus we live in the same house and that's just crazy to me. Of course, now it's awkward because I said no and now he leaves the room everytime I enter it.

And I missed the New Year because I was explaining why I couldn't have a boyfriend. I spent the rest of the party in my room because I wanted to cry but was too angry with guys to cry.

That was my New Year's. It is full of regrets because if I had just left site, none of this would have happened.