a glimpse into the future

I spent Saturday afternoon packing for my upcoming trip to Chicago. While I won’t be home for another few weeks, I wanted to pack my bag because my project manager is coming to visit this week and I would like to take advantage of the fact that she has a car and will ideally take me (and my massive exploding bag) to Santa Rosa. I can leave my bag there until mid-August, when I leave for Chicago. It was hard deciding what clothes I would bring back and which ones I would keep in San Ramon and wear for my last (!) 3 months. Even harder was taking down postcards, letters, photos, and artwork off my walls that made my house a home. It made me realize that my time is almost up and this house will be occupied by a local soon and I will be a distant memory. I have been so caught up with the idea of my 2 years finally being up and being able to go to the U.S., that I haven’t given much thought to what’s next. I have fantasized the hot showers, customer service, produce section of Whole Foods, draft beers, games at Wrigley and jibarito sandwiches, but I have no idea what I am going to do in terms of a job or a living situation. Putting 2 years of my life into Ziploc bags actually started to freak me out. In some ways, I am more scared about coming home (in December) than I was about leaving for Honduras 2 years ago. I think it’s because I knew that my time in Honduras was limited. In my head, I thought, “Alright, Peace Corps is 2 years and then I’ll have it figured out.” Now 2 years have passed and I have more questions rather than answers. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but as I was looking at my now blank walls Saturday night, it really blew my mind to think how quickly the 2 years have passed.